My thoughts to _______

I regret letting you see me and touch me
I should have put my shirt back on.
I regret touching you.
I should have pulled my hand off.
I should have had more control
And you should have too.
And I feel angry because you told me you wanted ME but you really didn't.
You'll deny it but you definitely took the parts you wanted, ate the good meat and spit out the bits with bone in it.
I've been played.
And I asked what You wanted and you said this relationship but that you couldn't.
Then I told you I was worried this would damage or friendship, but you said it wouldn't.
Yet, here I am texting you or wanting to and getting no thoughts or gestures from you.
And I really thought that we could at least be cool but that wasn't true.
I was in denial for a while about the aftermath
That you said we'd meet in the middle but you're not even on the path.
I thought I could trust you to at least love me as a friend and not put be in this position.
But i don't think you understand what I let you have and how you took my heart and started twistin'.
I never did those things with anyone
I did them because I wanted to but also because I trusted you.
But after this awkward ambiguity looms in the place of what I thought would be something real, now all I have in my chest is trust issues.
It's not all on you though, I should have thought this whole thing through though.
I should have made sure the seed would grow before I planted it.
I should have asked if you even wanted to sew the shrub I planned with it.
I should have looked past my romanticized fantasies and thought past the good feelings and started to contemplate if this woman and man SHOULD be.
So I'll take up my fault in the matter and I'll take yours too and just
Bandage it up like the rest of the cuts.
I'll pull down my sleeve so that you'll never know the little plant that did unintentionally grow.
And the little piece of my heart you unintentionally broke.