As a thicker girl, eating alone in a lounge on my lunch break is not ideal.
And eating normal food like a sandwich or pasta is an unspoken no-no.
I'll look like I'm scarfing down all these unnecessary carbs.
People will look at me and think "mmm... No wonder she's so big."
So I'm obligated to bring a salad with colorful bell peppers, tomatoes, and lean turkey with a side of sliced apples.
As I prepare each forkful Im aware that the stack of vegetables can't be too big, then I'll have to open my mouth wide and I'll look like an even bigger cow then the cow I feel like.
Small bites.
Small, dainty, skinny bites.
And I pat the corners of my mouth with my napkin every so often, just in case they forgot I'm trying to be ladylike and little.
And to my apples... I eat them with a fork, two bites for each slice.
So the people around me think I'm counting my chews and don't care about this small bowl of 70 calories.
And even though I've done everything right, I still feel everyone's thoughts and judgments about who I am and what I look like.
I put the Tupperware back in the communal fridge and walk back to my office, trying to make myself as small and unnoticed as possible.
